hashtagafreakingghost | Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

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Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

[For the past few days, all Ashley's done is try to figure out how to get the PokéConnect anonymous. It'd been an idea in the back of her mind for a week or so and then- well, it became an urge and now here she is.]

I need to ask for some advice.
This might also turn out to be a moral question, maybe? I'm playing by ear.

The scenario:
You take part in something careless and thoughtlessly cruel. A tragedy occurs. One that costs lives. You've accidentally hurt a dear, close friend.
That friend then methodically and maliciously plans and carries out revenge that inadvertently puts your life, the lives of your friends, and their own life in danger.
What the hell do you do?
Is it right to be pissed when it's your fault it all happened?
IS it really your fault?
What's worse, a horrible accident or a plot purposely designed to hurt others?
How would you try to move forward?
How would you try to forgive yourself?
Do you deserve to?

Consider this a moral quandary if you will. I'd just really like some advice. Some opinions.

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[Playing as children? Is this...the sister of the girl from earlier, with the red text?]

I'm sorry for what you've experienced. And if this is hard to talk about.

How do you do it?
How do you wake up day after day and not let it control you?
You still feel like this, but it's not a roadblock. How did you get to that point?

[oh ashley you sweet summer child--]

For most of my life?
I didn't.
I locked myself in my room. I blamed myself every day. I put myself down in every way a person could put themselves down, from when I was eight years old up until I was twenty-one.
And it destroyed me. It very nearly destroyed my relationship with my sister. It turned me into a nervous wreck who became so antisocial that I panicked endlessly over a party.

[Granted there were Big Things surrounding that party, but. Details.]

But in the past few years, the good years, I started listening to my sister more than myself.
My own inner voice is still loud sometimes, and I still find myself listening to it a lot, but I just have to keep focusing on the voices of the people who really care about my well-being.
I want to be the person she knows I can be, and that's how I find the strength to not let it control me.
Most days.

[If she had Chris there, if she had someone who loved her... Well. She'll have to make do.]

I'm so sorry.
That sounds horrible.
Am I right to assume your sister is the person using red text here?
It really does sound like she has a good handle on things. She sounds very kind.
I hope I can find someone like her.

Don't be. All of this... it happened a long time ago. Most of it, at least.

[Just give her a minute, and... oh.]

Ah, hes. That's her.
She is. And she does. She's verbally chewed me out many times over how I feel about that incident and how I feel about myself.
We're both a bit thickheaded so it doesn't always stick, but.
Well. My problems aren't the focus here.

Even if no others from your world are here, I think this post shows that you do have people here for you, who are willing to help you in the ways that you need! Look at how willing to talk to someone they can't put a face to, after all.

I kind of figured it was BECAUSE they couldn't put a face to the words, honestly.
I'm the kind of person everyone seems to think is sweet and harmless.
If they found out otherwise, that I was responsible for something like this, they wouldn't want to even look at me.
And it's not exactly a way to make new friends either.
At least, that's what I thought.
I don't know anymore now.

That is absolutely not true.
When you feel it's time to reveal yourself, I'd certainly keep on talking to you.
And if I feel that way, I know Anna will feel that way too. As will other people.

This isn't just an assumption, I felt this myself.
I've told people I nearly killed my sister twice and they still see me as nothing but a good person.
I can't imagine the people here would treat you any differently.

Seeing the response has changed a few impressions, it's just

The people here are so kind. Understanding. Trusting.
It's overwhelming. I barely understand why they would be so.
I wish I could feel otherwise, I really do.
Trying to take your word for it could help. It probably will help.
This is nowhere near what I expected I'd see when I put this up.

It's just how they are. I didn't understand it at first either, when someone not from my own world heard what I had done.
But I think it might have something to do with the fact that we're all outsiders?
This is a good place, and things are peaceful, most of the time.
But it's still nice to have that sort of companionship.

I hadn't thought of it like that. It's been that we're all divided in what places we come from, but we are united in being not of this world.
While I wish those I knew from home were here, it is
Well, it's a good start.

Exactly! And it is.
If you need to take small steps forward and aren't ready to talk to the community as a whole about this while showing your face, you could always talk to some people privately.
I'd be happy to keep listening, if you'd like.

Really? For a stranger?

Thank you. I don't know what to say.

Of course! I know how difficult it is to keep something that eats away at you inside like this.
Whether I know them or not, I don't want to see someone destroy themselves in the way I nearly did.
So if talking to me helps, then I'll be more than happy to listen, should you ever need it.

Your sister said her name is Anna. What's yours?

My name is Elsa
I won't ask for yours, so you don't have to compromise your anonymous status, but it's nice to meet you all the same.

Perhaps some day? You're very trusting, to agree to speak with someone afraid to disclose their identity.

Why wouldn't I trust you?
You're not trying to be deceitful by hiding your identity, you're just scared.
I can understand how you feel perfectly, so I can't fault you for that.

Besides, I've dealt with a disgustingly deceptive person before. Someone who tried to make themselves look kind and charming and sincere when in fact they were a heartless, greedy person who only cared for themselves.

Your situation is nothing like that.

That sounds horrible. Utterly repulsive kind of person!
I'm probably just applying my own way of thinking to everyone else. I'm just scared of trusting anyone, so that anyone could be this nice to me is inconceivable.

He is.
I could tell you all about him and just how awful the things he did were, but. This isn't about me!

And I understand. I was so paranoid about trusting people with my own secrets that, if my hair wasn't white already, it probably would've turned that color when I was still a child.

But even after my secret was let out for all to see here... nobody looked at me any differently.

I'll have to let that sit with me. Reveal when I feel comfortable. If I feel comfortable.
This is reassuring, genuinely. So much here has been.

I know. It can be... almost overwhelming, just how accepting people are in this land.

It's one of the things I love most about being here, and one thing I'll most certainly miss.

Doesn't that scare you? One day we'll leave. Doesn't it feel like any progress here won't matter?

[HAHA ASHLEY IF YOU ONLY KNEW...]

... It does. More than anything.

I worried about that a lot, when my second birthday in Johto came around.
But people assured me that some things just can't go back to the way they are. I don't know if they said that just to make me feel better, but for now, I'm just going to choose to believe them.

You think we can hold on to something? If not the memories then maybe the feelings and thoughts?
That sounds nice. I really hope it's true.

I know so.
Memories can be manipulated. Removed. But the feelings still remain. I'm sure of it.
It's much harder to change the heart than the head.

Whatever happens, the heart remains.

You have a good philosophy. Despite everything you've been though.

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Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

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