hashtagafreakingghost

I'm used to dealing with things that are a lot scarier where I come from. Take it you've never seen an Angel where you're from. Consider yourself lucky.

An angel? Not back home, and not here unless you count someone who once resembled one.
But I assume you aren't talking about halos and wings like the Christian angels?? That's a misleading name.

well shit
i guess that makes sense
the spooky scary shits not really my scene but i had a lot of exposure to it over the years
i wouldve liked to make more of the absurdist parody shit probably
or buddy cop films
everybody likes buddy cop films

oooo all surreal or avant-garde
or silly but full of action
that fits you I think :)

you know it's because he liked horror movies that Josh and I even became friends?
look at me going all Butterfly Effect haha
but it's really true he said first day of school we just HAD to hang out because I had the same name as some guy in a movie
and because of him I met Chris and just about all my other friends too
so no matter how much they freak me the fuck out I owe a lot to horror movies

tagent

no i kind of know what you mean
like not about horror movies specifically
but about all those little things or even people you meet that seem insignificant or random or unrelated but end up basically shaping the rest of your life
and some people chalk that up to destiny or whatever but
well
maybe for me its because when i was hopping around through like fifty timelines at once my most reliable source of guidance was the trolls seer of mind and her influence colors how i think about fate
but i like to think were actually the ones making those choices
for better or worse and whether we mean to or not
or shit i guess maybe its more like
thats what i WOULD like to think
sometimes its hard to believe theres any kind of meaning at all to everything my friends and i have been through
but if there is i want to believe its something of our own making
so its less about being where we needed to be and more about
i dunno
making something out of our time thats just OURS

anyway hows that for a tangent

Edited 2016-03-26 21:16 (UTC)

you mean
every choice we make and every action we take
every moment
it all matters?
if only because we're the ones who made that choice
what we could've done and what ended up doing
it's us moving those pieces
that's why it's important

yeah
i like to think like that too

yeah
i guess thats what im saying
the choices we didnt make too
the ones we made in some timeline we cant even conceive of now
maybe those arent important to the "alpha timeline"
but theyre important to the versions of us that made them
its important that somewhere out there in the infinite complexity of timespace everything that could happen
DOES happen
and that out of all the potential that we carry we made ourselves who we are
its kind of incredible if you think about it that way
that this version of us exists at all in all that everythingness
like
i dunno
a single unique star in a whole sky of stars
this is why i dont talk about the metaphysical junk it gets away from me

no i

i think about that a lot too
though it's probably in a less optimistic way than you're phrasing it
the version of us talking now vs the version of us that made other choices
but it gives a lot of perspective doesn't it?
you could have done this horrible thing and you didn't
you could have done something kind and you didn't
you could have
and you didn't
i am who i am for better or worse and i carry what i've done or didn't do with me

Chris really likes talking about things like this
butterfly effect and all that he would talk my ear off
so i soaked it all up and this is where it lead me

Edited 2016-03-26 22:01 (UTC)

in a way i think im

[...]

ok what im about to say is obviously heavily informed by my previous experience with time travel and alternate timelines
but
i guess thinking about it like thats a way to justify my own existence
and what my presence here in pokeworld accomplishes if accomplishment is even something i want to consider as something existing makes necessary

you're meeting people
and living
that's accomplishing something right?

i don't mean to get preachy at all if it sounds like i am
i can't say i've experienced what you have of course
but that's the way i see it
every single you is important whatever he does
because he's you
so you're also important not just them

yeah
yeah thats what im saying
it
even if eventually i go and everyone who knew me goes and nobody remembers i was here at all
i WAS here
and there doesnt have to be some kind of visible result for that fact to matter

I'll remember

I mean

all this bullshit
about people forgetting
about all of that

we only know from people who've come back
maybe if our time here's really done
forever
we can retain it all

I choose to believe that anyway
the more I think about it
I won't let it slip away
anything that happened here
or anyone I met

[Dave doesn't answer that right away. It's...so much, all of a sudden. It means so much, that she'd say that, even if she doesn't know what he'd be going back to.]

id
really appreciate that
id really like to be remembered by someone like you ashley

I'm just
thank you

I mean
the world's been a piece of shit enough
I like to think that I can at least do something to push back you know?

i can get behind that
thatll show YOU cruel and uncaring universe imma be nice to all these people

gotta try SOMETHING right?
and it's gotten you places hasn't it!
you have yourself a moirail now :)

god ahahaha
christ thats still weird
its so hard to pronounce??? fuck troll words

it's just like a foreign language! you'll get used to it eventually
and if you ever need relationship advice I'm here for you!!
uh
I mean I can try

haha maybe
im sure ill need help at some point if only because i dont know what the fuck im doing with people ever
but apparently this is attractive so??
who the fuck knows

well I've dated like one person ever
and the only one who I've really felt anything for I never had the chance to do anything with yet
so I'm mostly flying blind in that sense!
but I like to think I'm okay with interacting with people

well ive also only dated one person ever and she happened to be a troll so that actually helps in some respects
on the other hand
she had ROUGHLY my degree of emotional competence so that went about as well as youd expect
but karkat has put up with me for three years at this point so mostly im just hoping he knows what hes getting himself into

don't say it like that! you are a perfectly friendly guy Dave and yes okay
you have some
issues
but so does everyone!
hell so does he
he wanted to get into this with you and the romantic in me says you'll make it through

christ
you and karkat should sit down and watch the notebook together or something
i bet youd have a great time

but thanks

the notebook!! you know I made Chris watch that with me once...

you're welcome :)

oh man
what did he think

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