hashtagafreakingghost

That's a pretty good guess, actually. And it's true, they do have a lot to do with it. But the reason's a bit more complex than that. It's difficult to explain, and you'll probably think it's just science fiction or something stupid, but if you choose to believe me, here's the deal:

For some reason, only 14-year-olds are able to harmonize properly with the Evangelion units. And one day, I was selected to test a new unit, Unit-03. Unfortunately, the unit was contaminated by an Angel, and the entire mecha was infected and essentially controlled by the Angel, with me inside of it.

No one really knows how the Eva units work, but there's a part of them called a core, which is essentially where the vital point, the heart of the Eva is. Angels have them too, actually. The core is basically the primary power organ of the unit: break the core, and the whole thing shuts down. Now, I was in the cockpit of the Eva at the time: when the unit was taken over by the Angel, it assimilated me into its core, which did...something to me, biologically. When that happened, two things changed about my body.

The first is that I'm contaminated by the Angel. I have traces of Angel DNA in my body, and no one quite knows if that's negatively affecting me or what, because I'm the only person in the world who has ever had this happen to them. So that's special.

The second is something the Eva did to me. When I reached that level in the core, the Eva also changed me on a biological level, and somehow changed my body to keep it in a state where I'm permanently fit to pilot.

...Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with that. Piloting is what I do best, after all.

So you're not sure on where you stand and you're still very hesitant about the whole thing now that he's shown up here. Especially since you left things on a weird note with the whole bad first impression and long trolling convoluted trolling thing.

Yikes. I've got it easy, he just pissed me off in a very specific way, you have a bunch of complicated feelings separate from his bad opinions.

Oh
You really think so?

Edited 2016-04-04 04:59 (UTC)

send me your notes for
you know
when if I ever get to use them here

[GIVE HER A FEW MORE MOMENTS JESUS CHRIST??]

Oh my god.

I can't find a lot more to say oh my GOD.
Of course I believe you what reason would you have to lie about something like this?? And usually reality is stranger than fiction anyway I

That's all so much to have gone through.

Yes, it was something else. After Unit-03 was destroyed, with me inside of it, I was comatose for quite some time. When I woke up, it was the middle of another apocalyptic event, so that was...a bit of a shell-shock, naturally. But that's another story.

So, if you were wondering why I became a Captain at such a young age, you pretty much have your answer now. I found out at a very young age that I was going to pilot Unit-02. And I'm very proud to be its pilot, even now. But I entered the military when I was about 11, just so I could be as experienced as I could by the time I turned 14 and grew fit to pilot it. ...It was a pretty worthwhile experience, all things considered.

To be frank with you...I miss being in the cockpit of Unit-02. I miss it quite a lot, actually. ...It was something that only I could do, something I dedicated my life to. So to be without it is...well, I imagine it's as close to something like "pining" as someone like me could be.

What else could it BE it's not like she can be in two places at the same time, right???

[...]

BASICALLY? YES. EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID.
HOW THE FUCK DO YOU UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT SO EASILY, I DON'T GET IT. IS IT JUST BECAUSE OF THE WRITING THING?
WHATEVER, NOT THE POINT. ANYWAY, YEAH, I'LL... DEAL WITH THAT, I GUESS. AND YOU AND JOHN WILL SEE EYE TO EYE EVENTUALLY.

I
um
I don't know. How do pokemon work when they're ghosts??

Edited 2016-04-04 06:41 (UTC)

Oh my god you were in a coma? Oh my GOD all of this

And you're just completely fine with all of this? The fighting and the monsters and the life devoted to this endless war?
Don't you get tired?
If you've been doing this for so long.

Maybe?
I don't know frankly. I've read a lot of books but it can't just be that. Something to think about.
But you're right the point is
Oh I don't know. This is all weird. I'm used to inheriting friends from other people though so I'll probably just learn to roll with it. I've gotten along with PLENTY of abrasive people before, what he said just

It a few bad nerves as I'm sure you could imagine.

Edited 2016-04-04 08:11 (UTC)

For a few months, yeah, I was out cold in quarantine, basically. But they had to take me out when HQ was under attack, so they stuck me in Unit-02 and put me at the bottom of a lake. Figured the inside of it would be the safest place for me. ...I can respect that opinion, to be honest.

As for being fine with it...I've never had anything else to exactly compare it to. I was born in a world with a bloodstained ocean. And right now, the entire planet is a bright red rock, hanging on by a thread, not fit for life but too stubborn to die.

And that's the place I'm fighting to protect, because I'm also too stubborn to die. But it's not a fight any of us can exactly win, at this stage of the game. I'm just trying to cut the losses as much as I can from here.

If you asked me whether or not I think we can do it, I couldn't tell you. But piloting is the reason I exist. I was born to fight in that scarlet mess. ...Either I keep fighting, or I lay down and die. Those are my options.

I'm not sure uh
Maybe I can have the pokedex pick it up through the window??
Ohhh it keeps LOOKING at me!!!

How awful.

[Unlike the previous texts, it's sent instantly.]

That hopeless situation it
I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry I don't know what else to say.
I

It must be so strange but
to get to experience something else outside that
I'm glad you get to

It's very, very strange for me. And to be honest, I'm not sure if I like it. You shouldn't apologize, though. It's not like you're responsible for any of it. If anything, I should be apologizing to you. Talking to people about it like this isn't my M.O.

But to be fair that's just because talking to people about anything isn't my M.O.

But then it's all bottled up inside you! And that's not good! Never!

I've learned recently that keeping all the bad things that have happened to you locked away does horrible, horrible things to you. Even if it's not me then you should talk to SOMEONE about it all.

Ashley. If living in the world I'm from has taught me anything, it's that you're all you have.

Letting someone in just opens the door for someone to get hurt. That's how I've lived my life. I've stood on my own two feet and my own two feet alone for as long as I can remember. That's not changing just because now I'm somewhere where shit isn't as bad, sorry to say.

"INHERITING FRIENDS?"

[What the fuck does thoh right. Yeah, he knows what that is.]

I HAD A FEW FRIENDS LIKE THAT
AND YEAH, I CAN SEE WHY. SORRY AGAIN ABOUT HIM.

oh no You can do it, Ashley!! Just be calm!

Or uh there's a ghost right here
Maybe I could do it??

[It makes her so sad... She barely knows this girl, but the whole situation makes her sad. There's no tie to her, no obligation. It could just be another story she sees on the news, but... But...]

Are you at least enjoying your time here away from all of it? Even a little?

...

If nothing else, I'll admit that Happiny is better company than I thought she would be. Some of the Pokemon are actually pretty cool in general, like Gyarados. ...And it's a bit nostalgic, walking through grass and seeing a flourishing earth that isn't a crimson deserted mess. Reminds me of my childhood, back before I found out I was selected to be a pilot.

[ Before she started seeing the world in hues of red. ]

It'd be a bit nicer, though, if I didn't have the constant feeling looming over my head of "there's something I need to be doing right now". I have an obligation to a place where I can't be right now. But there's nothing I can do about that, and it bothers me. Makes me feel powerless. ...I'm the sort of girl that enjoys the feeling of being in charge of her own destiny. So you can imagine the idea of being whisked away to a different world by some higher power doesn't sit very well with me.

It's fine, it's fine. You don't have to keep apologizing. It's be nice if HE did, but

Whatever. If you can get along with him with all the history and hangups, I can too. Or at least not make waves.

oh
That would make a lot more sense you have yours right in front of you

I can understand that. The feelings behind it at least. My obligations are nowhere near like yours, and they aren't even something I feel I was ready to go back to but I still had many plans other than travel across a magical land.

But while I'm here I have to have something to devote my time to. So, training. Is that how it is for you too?

[That she's saying these things to her, even in text. It touches her. What's Ashley done to earn this, this confiding?]

[ ...Maybe she's just lonely after all. ]

Just something you can throw yourself into, right? That you can put your all into? Just competitive enough to make for a good way to keep yourself occupied?

Yeah. That's how I feel. As long as I'm stuck here, might as well just be the best fucking Pokemon trainer I can be. That's all.

Sometimes life has a way of throwing curveballs at us and expecting us to just roll with the punches. It's happened to me more often than I care to admit, actually. ...I guess it's to test your character.

;IC CONTACT

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