Ashley Brown (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hashtagafreakingghost) wrote2025-02-08 05:47 pm
hashtagafreakingghost) wrote2025-02-08 05:47 pm
Entry tags:
;IC CONTACT
Hi! This is Ashley. I, um, can't come to the phone- gear right now? Leave me a message and I'll get back to you ASAP, okay? Bye!
*Let me know the time/date of your message!
[text] 3/3
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Ah stupid question, right, no. Old crushes are THE WORST to talk about with anyone.
[text]
FUCK IT WAS SO HUMILIATING AT THE TIME, I DIDN'T EVER WANT TO BRING IT UP WITH HIM AGAIN. HENCE, WELL
TROLLING HIM BACKWARD
IT'S ACTUALLY
NOT THAT BAD TALKING ABOUT IT WITH YOU. AT LEAST SO FAR
MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL THE ONLY PERSON I'VE MET WHO SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT ROMANCE.
[text]
I just
I try my best.
It won't change anything with him but you can vent to me if you want?? I've had um embarrassing crushes before but since you haven't seen him in so long well
I can only imagine how tough it is for you to sort out. Especially if HE KNOWS a little about it. :/
[text]
I WASN'T SUBTLE WITH HIM AT ALL. AND HE KNEW ABOUT QUADRANTS FROM FUTURE CONVERSATIONS I'D HAD WITH HIM
SO HE FIGURED IT OUT PARTWAY THROUGH ME SPEWING MY STUPID FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE AND, WELL
JOHN'S "NOT A HOMOSEXUAL" AND LIKE I DISCOVERED A BETTER PERSON AND FRIEND THAN I THOUGHT WHEN VIEWING HIS TIMELINE.
I RECOGNIZE NOW THAT I GOT TOO CAUGHT UP IN IMAGINING HIM AS MY KISMESIS BECAUSE HE WAS THE LEADER OF THE HUMAN SESSION, WHICH HAD JUST FUCKED OVER ALL OF US IRREVOCABLY
SO OBVIOUSLY AS THE LEADER OF THE OPPOSING TEAM
GOD THIS IS STILL SO EMBARRASSING. I BARELY EVEN FUCKING KNEW HIM AND I WAS VERBALLY THROWING MYSELF AT HIM THE FIRST CHANCE I GOT, WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT.
[text]
Well
It was a rough time right?? With your
session being all screwed up and
Yeah that's kinda bad
But
if you just tell him you aren't interested anymore right upfront, it'll start making things better right??
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I WAS FURIOUS AND LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BLAME. I GUESS IT WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN.
I'VE TOLD HIM THAT YEAH. IT'S JUST, I DON'T KNOW. AWKWARD.
AND THEN THERE'S THE FACT THAT DAVE'S MY MOIRAIL NOW, BUT HE HASN'T SAID ANYTHING ABOUT IT SO IT'S PROBABLY FINE? I MEAN, NEITHER OF THEM HAVE. I GUESS IT'LL COME UP EVENTUALLY.
[text]
John's not the kind of guy to get quadrants is he? If these are his feelings about HUMAN romance then
Ugh. You and Dave should talk about that, alright? Share it with him before he finds out one way or another, or else it'll probably get weird.
[text]
I DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO RE-EXPLAIN MOIRALLEGIANCE TO HIM WHEN
[asdgdjlalkdj nope, try again.]
WHEN SOME SHIT HAPPENED. DON'T ASK. SO I'M NOT SURE HOW HE'LL TAKE IT NOW.
WE'LL WORK IT OUT, DON'T WORRY.
[text]
I'm pulling for you guys. I may not be fond of him right now but if he's as good a guy as you say, then he should be supportive I hope.
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Or did.
Siblings are kind of nature's way of giving you a partner in crime and/or someone to make sure you don't fuck up too badly. At least, in my observance.
[text]
nope, not getting it.]
OK HOW ABOUT I JUST TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT
I MEAN I... *THINK* I COULD SEE IT? LIKE A, WHAT, HUMAN PLATONIC MOIRAIL YOU SHARE A LUSUS WITH OR SOMETHING.
EXCEPT OUR LUSII USUALLY TRY TO
[wait fuck]
I MEAN THEY DON'T GET ALONG WITH OTHER TROLLS USUALLY, JUST THEIR OWN.
[text]
I'll take your word for it. Just
They're important. To put it in perspective, why Josh did what he did was as justice for his sisters. A fucked up kind of justice, but
Without them he kind of fell apart so I guess platonic moirail is a good way to put it for you.
[text]
OH. WELL, THEN IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE.
[Another tiny pause.]
I MEAN, FROM A TROLL PERSPECTIVE. FUCK, SORRY, THERE'S A LOT OF SHIT YOU DON'T NEED TO HEAR.
[text] 1/2
I hate feeling like everyone's walking on eggshells around me but troll society really does sound too harsh for me. I appreciate it.
Both when thinking about whatever you've seen and
well you know, all that stuff
[text] 2/2
Instead of this conversation, I tell you about a super embarrassing crush I had that will never leave this text chain
To even the odds. Okay?
[Say yes Karkat.]
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AT LEAST ONE THING I COULD TELL YOU THAT ISN'T INTRINSICALLY AWFUL. EXCEPT THERE'S OTHER SHIT TIED INTO IT THAT WOULD MAKE IT AWFUL AGAIN SO
FUCK, NEVER MIND. YES, TELL ME ABOUT THIS CRUSH.
[text]
When I was 10
I'm almost 19 now for reference so like almost half my life ago
When I first met Josh he was like
One of the first people who actively tried to make friends with me and reach out, and he STAYED friends with me and it was touching so
I had this stupid embarrassing puppy crush on him for like a month and I lived in fear that he would find out and tease me FOREVER.
To my knowledge, he was oblivious but I still cringe every time I think of it.
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WAIT, HOW IS THAT EMBARRASSING.
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I mean I just met him and knew zilch about him!! And
It was JOSH look I know I've mostly talked about him in the bad contexts but
He was like #2 best friend for years and years after and I was
Thinking he was this sweet selfless knight in shining armor and I got him ENTIRELY wrong
It's mortifying!! He is the kind of guy
Was the kind of guy I guess
Who would just never let me live it down ever, because he is NONE of those things and it's so weird to even think about!
I feel all weird even typing this.
[text]
AND I WAS WRONG ABOUT HIM TOO, ALTHOUGH I GUESS IN DIFFERENT WAYS THAN YOU WERE ABOUT JOSH.
YOU WERE TEN. WHAT IS THAT IN SWEEPS ANYWAY, I GUESS PROBABLY FIVE? MAYBE FOUR, SOMETHING LIKE THAT
SO YEAH I CAN UNDERSTAND FALLING FOR SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW, ESPECIALLY AT THAT AGE.
IT'S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE, ESPECIALLY IF HE WAS THAT NICE TO YOU.
BUT
I CAN ALSO SEE IN HINDSIGHT HOW YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO
TO ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH THOSE MEMORIES, I GUESS. IF HE DID THOSE THINGS.
[text]
It really wasn't all bad, you know. Most of it wasn't.
I talked a lot about this with Dave but well
I miss him a lot. Both how it used to be and just him. It's weird. I'm still furious but every day it gets a little more bittersweet.
I just realized he
Well he was Josh. Funny and abrasive and caustic but still strangely caring. Cutting humor and a crooked smile and a silver tongue. It just felt weird once I got to know him to think of him like that.
And well then there was Chris so
He just worked better as a friend.
It's silly, until everything happened with his sisters it was just embarrassing because of all that. Then
Well all the extra baggage.
Uggh I was trying to make the conversation LESS of a downer. Great good job me.
[text]
HEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. IT'S NICE KNOWING I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO WAS A MISERABLE JUDGE OF CHARACTER
THOSE ARE JUST EXPERIENCES TO LEARN FROM EVEN IF THEY'RE FUCKING HORRIBLE IN EVERY POSSIBLE RESPECT.
[... wait, how is that helping WOW LET'S TRY AGAIN]
OK HERE'S A QUESTION
HOW DO YOU TELL SOMEONE TO STOP HITTING ON YOU IF THEY DON'T KNOW THEY'RE DOING IT.
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