hashtagafreakingghost

It's okay. I didn't mean for this to be a big serious talk either. You can tell me to shut up if you need to.

I'm definitely not glad that the Yeerks (that's the bad aliens) tried to invade, and it was definitely horrifying and nightmare-inducing, but I at least found some family? Like... Ax, one of the ones I mentioned earlier, turns out to be my uncle.

(His brother was my dad, who morphed human and trapped himself like that and had me with my mother, but then got put back in space and time in his original body by what's basically a semibenevolent alien god thing. And then got shot down and was the one who gave us the power to morph.)

And I found out my mom wasn't dead, she just had amnesia from a car accident, and we fixed her blindness. So... I mean. That part's good, I guess.

It's just... you know. The other things. Flying's great, being a dolphin was fun when I wasn't busy being grumpy that one almost drowned me, I've gotten to swing through trees on an alien planet... but we still had to fight.

This is all so much Tobias.
When you said your life was weird, you were right.
I believe you of course but
You REALLY were right.

I'm sorry you had to fight. You're a nice kid. You shouldn't have had to.

... Thanks.

But I mean... man I don't mean to turn this into a 'my life sucks' sort of made for TV movie thing. But my life did suck? Like, I kept getting shifted between coasts from an aunt who hated me and was just nasty and an uncle who hated me and was an alcoholic. I was the kid who doodled in class and got swirlies because no one liked me.

And then this happened, and I could leave my life that sucked, and even if it was terrifying and everything, even if it was a war with horrific death, and even if the person I cared about the most died, it mattered.

It had to have mattered. We saved people. And if what we went through was enough to save everyone and to make a difference, then... maybe it's a little more okay. I mean, it doesn't do much for nightmares, but... I have to hope that it makes things a little more okay.

Like it gave it...meaning? All the things you went through and
everything else?

That's a really enlightened way to think of it, Tobias. You're brave. And smart. And I'm glad that you can find comfort in it, even now.

... I mean. It had to. I'm not all that brave, or smart. We were all just kind of desperately running around, trying to come up with plans.

If that didn't mean anything, then what was the point? Why did we get thrown into that stuff? I know there's things... not gods, but just really powerful things, and we were just kind of... the pieces that got moved into play. If they had to play us, then I'd like to think that we had a reason to be played. That whatever we gave up... I don't know.

I just don't want other people to have to be scared anymore. I don't want them to have to be in danger. So that even if their life sucks, at least they're not being forced at the point of a laser gun to give up their own ability to do things.

... Okay I'm going to totally show how much of a loser nerd I am, but the quote's appropriate. 'You may be sure that it was not for any merit that others do not possess: not for power or wisdom, at any rate. But you have been chosen, and you must therefore use such strength and heart and wits as you have.'

I mean... we had to do what we had to do. Even if other people think of us as heroes, we didn't. We were just... there. Fighting. No time to stop and think, not much time for morals, just... fighting. It's hard to explain unless you were fighting, too. We kept thinking 'well, either we'll die or we won't, and if we don't we can think about what this means later'. Usually we were just trying not to get shot.

... This place gives me too much time to think.

Edited 2016-03-05 18:33 (UTC)

[She takes another moment and then.]

'Such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them because they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.' One nerd to another.

You say you aren't smart or brave, but to have faith after all you've seen and been through. That has to count for something. And to still care so much about others. You did so there and you're doing that here too, aren't you? Checking in on me. Offering people Munna to keep their nightmares at bay. Whatever you say about yourself, I've only recently met you and I think you're an extraordinary person, Tobias. Even if it's something you had to do.

[She's not going to touch on the idea that it has to mean something. She's not going to address that; what was the point, what's the reason- if she starts thinking about things like that again, then...that won't do anyone good. Especially Tobias.

But this? This she can say with confidence.]

'Courage is found in unlikely places,' after all. Is it not?

Heh. Yeah.

... That's really nice of you to say, Ashley. I mean... I've just been trying. I can't really run away here. I can't fall back on animal instincts to just... hide. So... I don't know. I found that helping other people seems to help me, too. And maybe that's a little selfish - doing it so I feel better - but you do what you can, right?

And sometimes you fall down, but you seem like a pretty nice person. I'm sure you've already made some friends who can help you up again, right? A lot of us seem kind of messed up here, and a lot of people don't mind helping out. So it's really nice here, since that kind of thing exists.

Me? Oh, I try my best. And just between you and me? A lot of people keep telling me it's alright to be a little selfish. So I'm telling you the exact same thing.

So, in the interest of helping out. You were talking about what Falkner's Pokémon are weak to? Mine are mostly Psychic or Ghost, with one Electric. A few Normal. Any recommendations from the bird expert?

Ghost is okay for the Honchkrow but not for the others, which you can use Psychic on just fine but not on the Honchkrow. Really, just lay on the Electric-type attacks and you can get him down pretty easily, and the other types aren't bad they're just not exploiting a type weakness. If your Pokemon are having trouble with it, you can pick up a Pachirisu or Shinx on... Route 31, I think? There's probably a Geodude in the Dark Cave, too.

Edited 2016-03-06 02:24 (UTC)

I have a Shinx, actually! I've been raising her up as best I can. Electric strong against birds. Flying type, right? Electric, Rock, and Ice. I'll see what I can rustle up.

What types should I AVOID, besides the single Pokémon recommendations? What's Flying strong against?

Oh, right, duh. Sorry, I should have mentioned that.

Flying is strong against Bug, Fighting, and Grass.

Don't let Falkner fool you, he's not as great as he likes to pretend he is. He sometimes goes on about his dad who was some great Flying-type master before him. He thinks he's the best Flying-type trainer after his dad and that he's so cool and handsome and smart and ooh look at my airshow it's the best that could ever be.

... Sorry I uh. I don't like him very much.

You're passionate. It's cute. :)

I bet if you tried hard enough, you could be a more well-known one. A Flying-type master. With your experience and all that. I'd cheer for you.

And I'll be sure to thrash him and tell him you sent me. ;)

[... Did. Did she just call him cute?]

[... Give him a minute.]

[ o///o ]

[Okay, we're good.]

Really? Thanks. I kind of want to, if we're stuck here long-term. I mean... why not have a goal to shoot for, right?

Good luck. Let me know when you kick his ass - I can fly over and I'll take you out to lunch or something.

[In. In a totally platonic way.]

[In Ashley's mind, Tobias, no matter how old he is, because of how he's carried himself, is a younger, sweet boy. And besides, she's Forever Taken anyway, so any implications of what she just said fly right over her head like a damn hawk.

Ohhh boy.]

That's how I feel about it too. A goal, something to do.

And that would be so nice! I'd love to. Celebration with the future master.

[He is also taken forever, so that's a good thing.]

Good. Let me know if you need help with anything else, okay? And if you ever need a place to crash in Goldenrod, our couch is open.

[He'll just have to get Jimmy to back down a little, but that shouldn't be hard.]

You Goldenrod folks really are kind.

Maybe it's something in the water.

Maybe.

;IC CONTACT

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[Text] wheee Animorph spoilers

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