hashtagafreakingghost | Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

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Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

[For the past few days, all Ashley's done is try to figure out how to get the PokéConnect anonymous. It'd been an idea in the back of her mind for a week or so and then- well, it became an urge and now here she is.]

I need to ask for some advice.
This might also turn out to be a moral question, maybe? I'm playing by ear.

The scenario:
You take part in something careless and thoughtlessly cruel. A tragedy occurs. One that costs lives. You've accidentally hurt a dear, close friend.
That friend then methodically and maliciously plans and carries out revenge that inadvertently puts your life, the lives of your friends, and their own life in danger.
What the hell do you do?
Is it right to be pissed when it's your fault it all happened?
IS it really your fault?
What's worse, a horrible accident or a plot purposely designed to hurt others?
How would you try to move forward?
How would you try to forgive yourself?
Do you deserve to?

Consider this a moral quandary if you will. I'd just really like some advice. Some opinions.

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So sorry to hear about what happened with your friend. But the fact that they would go so far to plan a huge revenge scheme after a careless accident that caused a tragedy is definitely terrible on their end no matter how you slice it...your intentions were good and theirs were malicious, even if putting your life in danger wasn't intended on their part! There's no getting around that. So of course you have every right to be upset with them for doing something like that! Regardless of how they felt after what you did, they're going out of their way to hurt you after an accident. And even if it caused something really bad, an accident is an accident!!! Far different from going out of your way to hurt someone, and far worse, in my opinion. Their decision to make that plan was theirs, no one forced them, so no, it's not your fault.

Before I answer the bit about you moving forward, I wanna know: what's your opinion of this friend now, even after they went out of your way to hurt you like that?? Do you think that maybe you guys can patch things up at some point?? Do you think at one point you'd eventually be able to forgive them for hurting you so badly?? They clearly weren't able to forgive you for that accident, and forgiveness has to go both ways, but, if you want to move forward with them, I'd suggest at some point talking the whole thing out and figuring out what you can do together as friends, especially if you were close before this whole thing?? I hope you can reach something with them somewhere down the line but that comes later of course!!!

I hope talking about this now helps at least a little. Just to get it off your chest and all?? I definitely HOPE that you can end up working something out and forgiving yourself, because I think that everyone deserves a second chance if they truly, sincerely want to better themselves and make up for their mistakes. That could just be me being naive and all but I really honestly do. You don't sound like a bad person. There's a big difference between making mistakes and being bad at your core, y'know?? Just because a decision you made had a bad consequence doesn't mean you're not a good person, it just means you made a bad decision, is all!! But it's not the end of the world!!! You can't forget about what happened and sweep it under the rug so to speak but you also can't dwell on it, you have to take positive steps, think about doing what you can to make the best present for yourself from here on out!!

I dunno I'm bad at advice so this came out as kinda word salad?? But I guess the most important thing is just being honest with yourself and taking care of yourself, realizing what you want and need. You've done something you regret and that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, but they don't define you! It's learning from those mistakes that's the important thing!!! Don't let your past tie you down!!!! ♡

Edited 2016-02-29 08:15 (UTC)

Thank you for all of this, first of all.

I'm not sure what I feel about my friend. I wish I could punch him in the face, honestly. I'm hurt, because I thought I meant more to him. I'm angry, because he terrorized me so much. I'm sad, because I should have apologized properly.
I never apologized to him properly.
I don't know if we could have fixed things. The more days go by, the more I think maybe one day we could have.
But I can't now.
He's dead.

And I've misrepresented. My intentions weren't good. Those of us who caused that tragedy, we were being childish and cruel. It was an accident, but we were playing a prank on a friend. We should have known better.

You're being incredibly kind and thoughtful with all your words. Thank you. This is the sort of thing that has been haunting me and maybe this will result in some kind of catharsis.

Oh my God I'm so sorry I didn't know that he passed away, that's

There are no words, sorry isn't enough but I'm sorry all the same.

[ And that her last memories of him are...that... ]

Even if it was a prank, I'm sure you didn't mean for it to go that far. It was probably something harmless that went really out of hand, but, you never meant to hurt anyone with it. I think that the sooner you come to terms with the fact that it was an accident the sooner you can forgive yourself.

When we were kids, I was playing with my sister one day, and I got into an accident and had a pretty bad head injury. And after that accident happened, our entire relationship changed, partly because my parents sort of separated us afterwards and partly because she was so wrapped up in being guilty over what happened that she thought she could never have, like, an actual relationship again. She totally blamed herself for it, even though it was just a mistake. Thought she didn't deserve my forgiveness. It took years before we were able to actually talk about it, because I actually didn't remember anything about it since, y'know, hit in the head. No one would tell me anything either, when I was young, like, one day she was there and the next she was just gone, in her room all the time. I didn't even know there was an accident until not too long ago, believe it or not.

But I wish she had told me so much sooner. If I'm totally honest, I don't know if she's completely forgiven herself yet for what happened, even though, y'know, I obviously forgive her completely because it was just an accident and we were so young...actually, no, she definitely hasn't forgiven herself yet.

[ She knows Elsa has nightmares about it, still, even, what is it? 15 years later? ]

But she definitely deserves forgiveness, and she deserves to be able to forgive herself. She knows I'm there for her. You have people there for you, too, I'm certain of it. Everyone who caused that prank, you're all carrying that weight together, so I hope that you all move forward as a group and help each other and yourselves. That'll make it easier, I'm sure! Stick together as friends and talk it out with one another. I'm sure that will help.

Thank you. Your condolences are appreciated, as is your perspective. I'm sorry that your relationship with your sister was so strained as a result of an accident.

[At least they're both still alive. At least there's that. Unlike...]

My immediate goal, honestly, was to stay as close to the others as possible, but it's a little difficult to do that now. They're the only ones who share that experience, the only ones who can truly understand in full, and they aren't here.
One of them I think could forgive him.
No, I know he could.
It's a little different. ~~Chri~~ He had no part in the prank, but he was caught up in the resulting incident all the same. I can't begin to understand the thought processes behind all that, but I have some ideas why.

Regardless, he could put all of it aside and instead worried for our friend.
He's a very good person.
If I could talk with him, I know that would help, but for now I'm stuck. That's why I posed the question to a wide audience.

He sounds like a really good guy. I'm sorry he got caught up in it, too, even though he didn't do anything...but it must be tough to not have them be with you. I'm sure if you all went through it together you could work something out, but, to not have them by your side after something like that...this place is kind of buns with timing sometimes, honestly.

With any luck, maybe he'll come here, though? It took a little while before my sister came here, too, but, you never know who's gonna wind up in this place. I hope that he winds up coming here, I'm sure it'd make things easier.

But there are a lot of people here who are really great, too. Awesome people, who are really selfless and willing to lend a hand to anyone who needs one. It's pretty great, and it's part of the reason why I like being here so much. If you need someone to talk to, people here really listen, it's very touching, honestly.

I've been hoping that he'll show up here every day. It seems there are just as many here who have friends as those who're alone, so I don't know my odds there. But I want to see him more than anything else right now.

I have met quite a few kind people here. It's almost overwhelming. It is overwhelming. I just don't know how to broach a topic like this.
I suppose I could always start with "hello, I'm the anonymous person who fucked up majorly" as an ice-breaker but it's not something I think would go over well in conversation.

You'd be surprised at how understanding people can be, I think. If you're comfortable enough disclosing your identity and reaching that point with someone, I'm sure it'll happen naturally and they'll understand c:

I'll keep my fingers crossed that he shows up one day, though, y'know? I think it'll be really good for you both, 'cause it's easy to unwind in a place like this.

Maybe some day. That means accepting I'll be here for quite some time, though. I don't know if I'm comfortable with that yet.

Thank you either way. For the kind words and the hopes.

Well, just let whatever happens happen, when it comes to that. Some people come and go, others stick around...it's weird like that, around here. No real way of knowing for sure what's gonna happen, but, hope is really the best thing you can have, right?

I'm Anna, by the way. If you, y'know, ever want to talk to me privately. You can do that and keep your anon on, if you ever want/need to :)

Hope is a hard thing to come by for me nowadays. But I suppose I can try.

You're being incredibly nice. You and your sister both. I appreciate it all. It's one of the first times I've felt it's deserved in quite awhile.

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