hashtagafreakingghost | Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

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Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

[For the past few days, all Ashley's done is try to figure out how to get the PokéConnect anonymous. It'd been an idea in the back of her mind for a week or so and then- well, it became an urge and now here she is.]

I need to ask for some advice.
This might also turn out to be a moral question, maybe? I'm playing by ear.

The scenario:
You take part in something careless and thoughtlessly cruel. A tragedy occurs. One that costs lives. You've accidentally hurt a dear, close friend.
That friend then methodically and maliciously plans and carries out revenge that inadvertently puts your life, the lives of your friends, and their own life in danger.
What the hell do you do?
Is it right to be pissed when it's your fault it all happened?
IS it really your fault?
What's worse, a horrible accident or a plot purposely designed to hurt others?
How would you try to move forward?
How would you try to forgive yourself?
Do you deserve to?

Consider this a moral quandary if you will. I'd just really like some advice. Some opinions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Man. It sure seems like the guilt and moral difficulties just keep going 'round, huh?]

Since it's gonna color my answers, you oughta know that I'm someone who's helped perpetrate something closer to the first part of your scenario than the second. Though it was less careless than misinformed, and less accidental than...again, misinformed.

It sounds like what you're doing, when you ask if it's all right to be pissed off when someone else hurts you, is taking responsibility for that person's shit. It's okay to feel guilt and remorse for the things you've done - it's damn human to - but revenge? That's not like throwing a ball into a wall and it bouncing back into your face, that's throwing a ball at someone else and them choosing to break your nose with it. What I'm saying is it's not the logical conclusion of your action. Your friend isn't a ball or a wall, they get to own their own responses to what happens.

So, no. However culpable you are in the first thing, you're not wrong to want to slug someone for doing you wrong. And if you are, you're not alone.

[Would he hit a guy with glasses? Ohhhh, would he ever hit a guy with glasses.]

Anyway. As to the rest, I think first you oughta think about what you're really asking.

What do you think forgiving yourself entails?

[...now isn't that just the question.]

I don't know. I was told that I should talk about it and stop blaming myself but honestly? I don't know what forgiving myself entails. I tried to just forget about it and ignore and that made everything worse.

If forgiving means forgetting, then yeah, you'll never get there. Not about the incident and not about what it's done to you and others, either. What can I say? That stuff sticks.

But if it's accepting what you've done - the act and the consequences - taking responsibility for it, and working to be better in the future? That's possible. Hard work, but possible. And eventually, working to be better starts defining your life more than whatever it was you've got to be better than. That's the closest people can get, I think, to really letting things go.

Forgetting wasn't a good idea anyway. It just made me more thoughtless.
I'd really like it if I could, though.

How do I start doing that? The working to get better. So far everything's pointing to finding it on my own, but I don't even know where to begin.

Hey now, have a little faith in yourself. I bet you do. You said what you did was careless and thoughtlessly cruel, right?

Yes. It was supposed to be a funny prank, but I don't know what we were thinking.

I'm pretty sure the fact you don't means you won't ever let yourself think like that again.

If you could go back - not to take it back, getting stuck on that that never did anyone any good, but to change how you acted afterwards - what would you do?

You mean in the aftermath?
If I couldn't prevent it
if everything happened the same way
Then I wouldn't pull away. It would be hard, but I'd try and help my friend through his grief better. I would be insistent, as much as possible, to keep him from growing to resent me and the rest of my friends.

Then, since you can't do that: Why not try applying that consideration to the people around you? It's good for them, and it could help keep your mind off how much it hurts, having done what you did, and having what your friend did done to you.

I know in my case, after I lost the people I cared about most, I just gave my all into protecting the one friend I had left.

Just try and help people? As much as I can?
That really helps?
You think it'll fix me?

Nothing really fixes it, I'm sorry to say. It's always going to have happened, and that kind of thing, it changes people.

But it does help. Doing some good. Having something solid in the present to be proud of again.

In moderation, of course. Don't go so nuts on the altruism front that you lose sight of yourself, and don't punish yourself, either. There's a difference between making right and torturing yourself.

Then I suppose the next step is figuring out where that difference is.

[...And how much moderation she should have. Can't change your self-image in a day, after all.]

If you're hurting yourself, you should stop. Setting the bar too high never did anybody any good.

[How many nights did he stay up watching Carolina throw herself against Tex's shadow?]

'Course, it's hard to draw the line between pushing yourself productively and pushing too hard, but that's where it's handy to have someone looking out for you. Even if the work's something you gotta do yourself.

This is the time when you're going to tell me to have someone close to me watch my back, right? That's what keeps popping up on here, in one way or another.

It's a theme, yeah. Of course, teamwork's been vital to most of my personal experiences. Stands to reason it'd only be all the more so in situations like this, where spinning your wheels in isolation just works you into a worse state.

That's why you brought this to a public forum, right? 'Cause you recognize some good in it.

It's more that I didn't know what else to do since I had no other options. I already make my emotions public enough as it is. This felt like the only way I could ask for help without making anyone - myself included - uncomfortable.

Oh, okay, yeah, I see what you're saying. I'm conflating the asking for help and having close help. Sorry, it's just I'm used to situations where people had all the resources and didn't use them.

You know, there's probably a way to set up a dedicated anonymous penpalship through the Pokégears. So that that way, you can get help from the same person long term without breaking that privacy.

Penpals?
Maybe that would work.
I DO process my feelings better in writing.

~~[And well it'd be better than the last time she was penpals with someone in the multiverse]~~

I'm thinking - and I'm not saying you have to do this with me, you can pick whoever's giving you the answers that make the most sense - but I'm thinking you could get an extra pair of Pokégears, make sure they each got the other's number entered in, and then keep one and leave the other for your penpal somewhere you agree upon. That way neither of you knows who the other is.

[York, why...why have you been thinking about this. What kind of false identity have you been thinking about setting up.]

Another Gear? How?
If that's really possible, then I think that's a good
A really good idea.
It seems like there's enough fucked up people here to make use of it, at least.
But wouldn't that kind of be the blind leading the blind?

I could spot you a couple. I'm at the point where money's not really an issue for me anymore.

[It's a strange new world he's been living in for the past half a year.]

Anyway, yeah. Unless someone here's a licensed professional who's keeping it to themselves, you're gonna be getting amateur advice at best. Still, people here come from all ranges of experience. Chances are you'll at least get something useful out of the discussion.

We can just buy them? Wow. I didn't know that.

Speaking of licensed professionals.
Not even people who were dragged here just people who are already here like
Even Pokemon world needs shrinks, don't they?
I know some people need, like, meds and stuff like that. They have those here, right?
I don't know if I need them but I just like to know?

They've got to, yeah. I could ask my buddy to look into that, he's got more of an in into the healthcare world than I do. Mostly, though, my starter Pokémon's been able to coordinate some management strategies with me. She's a Beheeyem. Psychic type.

Management? Like, mental management?
I didn't realize they knew things like that. My Psychic types are more
Well, they don't make that kind of conversation.

It's a lot harder when they're young, if that's the case for you. And don't get me wrong, it's not like she's a licensed assistance animal. It's more that I already knew some tips from my previous career, and she and I worked out some systems for a couple things I tend to need a hand with.

[Anon Text]

[anon forever etc]

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BLATANTLY STEALING THIS FROM ALEX AND DAL SORRY

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