Second 👻 Story [Anonymous Text]

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[For the past few days, all Ashley's done is try to figure out how to get the PokéConnect anonymous. It'd been an idea in the back of her mind for a week or so and then- well, it became an urge and now here she is.]

I need to ask for some advice.
This might also turn out to be a moral question, maybe? I'm playing by ear.

The scenario:
You take part in something careless and thoughtlessly cruel. A tragedy occurs. One that costs lives. You've accidentally hurt a dear, close friend.
That friend then methodically and maliciously plans and carries out revenge that inadvertently puts your life, the lives of your friends, and their own life in danger.
What the hell do you do?
Is it right to be pissed when it's your fault it all happened?
IS it really your fault?
What's worse, a horrible accident or a plot purposely designed to hurt others?
How would you try to move forward?
How would you try to forgive yourself?
Do you deserve to?

Consider this a moral quandary if you will. I'd just really like some advice. Some opinions.

Comments

[soundmind]

Well, with things like this it's a good rule of thumb to check on everyone's mental health here.

And you're not alone. It's called post traumatic stress disorder. It can present itself in a lot of different ways, but flashbacks and going into a "bad" mind at the remembrance of the topic is the most common one.

With that, and you asking about it in general, I get the impression that you've got more to contend with in the act of forgiving yourself and coming to terms with what happened. If you're comfortable with the idea and want to pursue it, I can help you with coping.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

This is a lot to process.
That does sound like what I've been experiencing but
I was hoping that figuring out the events that lead to the incident would help put a stop to the
flashbacks
Or at least that it would lessen them.

I want to stop them. But I don't know how to proceed with that without disclosing my identity.

[soundmind]

It can be, don't feel like you have to rush to recovery. Everybody recovers in a different way and at a different pace.

[...]

Unfortunately, they never really *stop*. They just lessen and you and the people around you will know what to do when it happens. I still get them even if it doesn't show as obviously myself.

Do you have a Pokemon or person that you really trust? A figure like that can be useful for grounding when it happens.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Here?
I don't know.
I like my Pokemon well enough. I don't know if I trust anyone so much that I could rely on them for something like this, beyond a Munna's helping hand.

There's one person, but he's not here.

[soundmind]

I see, so it's likely you just arrived then. Even without trust, there's Pokemon that are good with soothing troubled feelings specifically--like the Ralts line. So maybe look into getting one of them in addition to your Munna?

Don't feel like you have to rush to put your trust in someone either, that's...not the best way to go about it, obviously, for you or the person.

I guess what I'm trying to get across is there's time for everything, especially here. There's no pressure or incentive to get "better" and to trust any living person. I've been here a while, so it's only natural that I'd eventually find someone I trust that much.

Maybe in time that person you trust will come here, too.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

[Shit, she has to be a bit more careful with this. Someone'll figure it out if she keeps dropping hints.]

I want to be able to function better now, though. I hate feeling like I'm going to shatter. There's no time limit, but
I don't know, I'm impatient.
I want to be able to sleep again and not jump at every little noise.

[soundmind]

I'm sorry

It doesn't work that way

If I could just turn it on and off, I would. I hate being a bother to my friends and my Pokemon.

But

the fact that you're still aware of your problems and want to fix them, what does it matter if you jump at noises? You go on with your business anyway, don't you? You can still find the courage to carry on even with things being how they are.

There's no instant fix. There never has been and there never will be. Just know that you're not alone and there's always hope.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

I'm going to be like this forever?

[soundmind]

No.

Not the way you *are* right now exactly. It doesn't go away completely, but you grow and learn. You get stronger. You just need to be aware of the tools you'll need for that is all.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Can you help me?

[soundmind]

I'd do the best I can to help. If you need to talk in private, that's okay too.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

Yes.
I don't think I'd be very comfortable doing this in public.
I mean, public and not anonymous.

[soundmind]

You can always contact my voicemail if you need to speak in private. I'm not sure if you can anonymously send messages to voicemail, but I think it's possible to do if you're not comfortable with being open about your identity.

I'll figure out something, promise.

[hashtagafreakingghost]

I might be? I'm not sure. I'm comfortable enough saying that we've talked before and a private conversation might work.

[soundmind]

[...]

All right. Whatever feels best by you.